Captain Awkward

If you look up awkward in the dictionary, THERE'S MY NAME. For realio. I have sooooooooooooooo many awkward moments.

Haha if you don't believe me, read example A:

So I'm sittin in seminary listening to the lesson, right? And Hansen turns around asking to borrow my pencil. Gladly I hand it to him. Not 5 mississippi's later, he hands it back to me broken! The little gremlin! We start loudly whispering who's going to get up and go sharpen it, trying not to disrupt Brother B. teaching. But yeahhhh that didn't happen.

"HANSEN! Stop flirting with Honore!" Brother B. says.

The whole entire class turns around to look at us, waiting for a reply.

"Uhhhhmmmm she's my cousin......" Hansen explains.

"Oh. Errr uh. Nevermind." Bro. B stutters.

Yeahhhhhhh. SUP AWK. If awkward could be made into soup I would have been drinking it. Hansen is my COUSIN. Cuuu-Zin. C-O-U-S-I-N. It was very uncomfortable.

Check out this other story. (I have MANY, trust me)

Story numero dos:

Dayna and I are casually talking to some of the long-jumpers during track, one of them being Hansen (aka the love of Dayna's life) As I'm in mid-sentence, Dayna cuts me off (she clearly had just learned something) saying, "Wait a second....Honore! You can't like Hansen. He's your cousin!" .......................*dead silence* I'm pretty sure you could hear a pencil drop.

Hansen just walked away.

I turned to Dayna, "Umm, no derrr." Hahahaha it was so embarrassing.

Example 3: I'm partying at the thrift store with a bunch of friends. We're trying stuff on and takin pics acting crazy. Ya know, the ushh. Some people even bought some stuff to be silly. I noticed muhh frann Chad Hardy was wearing this unfamiliar black turtle-neck as we were leaving the store.

"Chad did you seriously buy that?!" I asked.

"What's wrong with it?" Ryley Randy Dandy demanded.

"Well it's just... I don't know..." I tried to explain.

"Ummmmmm Honore, I've been wearing this the whole night." Chad said.

Everyone, literally everyone, starts dying laughing. R-O-F-L.

"No that's not what I meant! It's cute! But in a manly way!" Parker cut me off, "Just stop Honore. Just stop."

Hahaha I felt sooooooooooo bad! I didn't notice it because earlier he had a polo collar over the neck part so I couldn't tell it was the same sweater or not. So I'm innocent. Innocent I tell you! Sorry Chad!

I can't help but laugh though. It's pretty funny sometimes. But still, awkward.

Byeeeeeeee,

Captain Awkward

P.S. Did you know that for every awkward moment a gay baby is born? Man I birth a lot of livestock.... Oh wait, that came out wrong.